I recently revisited the place of my marriage, the Phoenix Zoo. It was a humorous visit, being that on our wedding day, it was a peaceful event, where we made our vows and declared our love for one another. This visit, was anything but peaceful. It was a snapshot and cold realization of what are life will be like when we have kids. It was the Friday of spring break, the busiest day of the year for the zoo. And yes, the first comment I made to Misty when we walked in was "this place is a zoo." I then repeated the joke forty eight times throughout the day.
We went with our friends and their children. Within a minute of getting inside the zoo, our friends daughter looked down in her stroller and proceeded to vomit everywhere. The terrible stench that came from this sweet child caused a Stand By Me, like string of vomiting throughout the zoo. In the Savnanah section the ostriches, gazelles and water buffaloes vomited which prompted the orangutans to vomit, which caused the bonobo monkeys to dry heave. Thankfully the vomit train stopped with the bonobos (they are known for their strong stomachs).
Crying was heard throughout the day, not just our friend's children, but every child that entered the zoo cried. At one point I looked around and every child I saw was crying, either because they wanted to see an animal, their ice cream fell, they were tired or most likely, I presume, they simply hated their parents and didn't not want them to have any enjoyment. The crying was at it highest towards the end of the day as parents tried in vain to make their way to the exit.
Every kid would scream "I want to see the (insert animal)".
And in response every parent would say "The (insert animal) is dead."
The zoo was the great equalizer, because the only thing that separated the children from the parents, was that the parents waited until they got into the car to cry.
It was here that a light bulb went off. What if they offered vasectomies at the zoo. Not for the animals, but for the distraught men. I have it all figured out. Put a vasectomy tent right by the hippos. Why the hippos, I'll tell you why. Because kids can't appreciate the hippo like men can and don't spend a lot of time looking at them covetously, like men do. There is a certain awesomeness to the hippo. You see, the hippo has really let himself go, he is so fat, but he doesn't care and no one nags him about it. He doesn't have to work, he can just sit in a pool of water and enjoy the hot sun all day long. Does the hippo's wife ever yell at him for going to bathroom in the pool... I don't think so.
And so, in conclusion, if you put the vasectomy tent right by the hippos, it will relax the men and they will forgot about how scary the surgery really is. This idea, is going to be bigger than microsoft. I will make millions.
Alright, I swear I had a point and a way to tie this into the world's orphan problem, but I seemed to have forgotten it.
How about this. Hippos live in East Africa, south of the Sahara on the Zambezi River. The Zambezi River is located in Zambia. Zambia, like every other country in sub Saharan Africa was devastated by AIDS. The following was take from Zambia Orphans of AIDS website.
We went with our friends and their children. Within a minute of getting inside the zoo, our friends daughter looked down in her stroller and proceeded to vomit everywhere. The terrible stench that came from this sweet child caused a Stand By Me, like string of vomiting throughout the zoo. In the Savnanah section the ostriches, gazelles and water buffaloes vomited which prompted the orangutans to vomit, which caused the bonobo monkeys to dry heave. Thankfully the vomit train stopped with the bonobos (they are known for their strong stomachs).
Crying was heard throughout the day, not just our friend's children, but every child that entered the zoo cried. At one point I looked around and every child I saw was crying, either because they wanted to see an animal, their ice cream fell, they were tired or most likely, I presume, they simply hated their parents and didn't not want them to have any enjoyment. The crying was at it highest towards the end of the day as parents tried in vain to make their way to the exit.
Every kid would scream "I want to see the (insert animal)".
And in response every parent would say "The (insert animal) is dead."
The zoo was the great equalizer, because the only thing that separated the children from the parents, was that the parents waited until they got into the car to cry.
It was here that a light bulb went off. What if they offered vasectomies at the zoo. Not for the animals, but for the distraught men. I have it all figured out. Put a vasectomy tent right by the hippos. Why the hippos, I'll tell you why. Because kids can't appreciate the hippo like men can and don't spend a lot of time looking at them covetously, like men do. There is a certain awesomeness to the hippo. You see, the hippo has really let himself go, he is so fat, but he doesn't care and no one nags him about it. He doesn't have to work, he can just sit in a pool of water and enjoy the hot sun all day long. Does the hippo's wife ever yell at him for going to bathroom in the pool... I don't think so. And so, in conclusion, if you put the vasectomy tent right by the hippos, it will relax the men and they will forgot about how scary the surgery really is. This idea, is going to be bigger than microsoft. I will make millions.
Alright, I swear I had a point and a way to tie this into the world's orphan problem, but I seemed to have forgotten it.
How about this. Hippos live in East Africa, south of the Sahara on the Zambezi River. The Zambezi River is located in Zambia. Zambia, like every other country in sub Saharan Africa was devastated by AIDS. The following was take from Zambia Orphans of AIDS website.
Zambia is one of the African countries hardest hit by HIV/AIDS. About 19 percent of children under 18, or 1.1 million, are orphans, most of them due to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. About 70 percent of the population earns less than US$1 per day, so families, communities and schools are overstretched in their efforts to care for children. Many households are now headed by children as young as eleven who are forced to forego the education they need to prepare for a harsh economic environment as they struggle to care for their younger siblings.In response to this crisis, Zambia Orphans of AIDS (ZOA) was formed by concerned Zambians and now has members from across the world. It is registered in the United States of America, the United Kingdom and Zambia.The projects ZOA supports use the funds to develop income-generating activities, provide skills training, and tend to the nutritional, educational and medical needs of the children. In all, about 8000 orphans are reached and assisted through ZOA’s efforts.
You can visit this website http://www.zambiaorphans.org/ to find out how you can help.
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